Big Girls Don’t Cry

Photo credit: Jose Miguel Serrano

Bulimia is very distressing to everyone. The pressure at school or home, media has become in your face so much that young men and women and adults feel the need to be thin. So much is this pressure felt that people have gone crazy with their health. The throwing up, dieting, excessive exercise has become the normal thing for these people, a way of life.

What are the causes of Bulimia? This is the question on everyone’s mind. There are many reasons for it, but you should know what the symptoms are.  These symptoms are what you should look for if you suspect that your loved one has Bulimia. It is important that you realise that telling them that they are not overweight and that they look fine won’t help matters. They have all these negative feelings stored in their heads and you telling them that it is ok just won’t help.

However, with treatment, Bulimia can be overcome. This will be a long process but will be worth it. What we don’t realise is that there are many health issues associated with this disease.  If you have a child that has Bulimia you should point out that there are plus size models out there like Crystal Ren on the Cat Walk that shine and are absolutely beautiful, they look healthy and happy and are gorgeous.  There is no need for them to take drastic measure to lose weight and be unhealthy.

Photo credit: William Richardson 

Ever since I have started buying plus size clothing I have been outraged that if you want to buy a tee shirt you pay over $50.00.  Why is it when you go to K-Mart or Target you only pay $10-20 for a smaller size tee.  I have now been buying on line for about 1 year and found that if you buy in USA their pricing is cheaper even after the exchange rate and freight.   Whilst you have to wait longer to obtain your goods I found that I refused to pay that much money for one item of clothing.

If you are like me and earn a minimum wage you will all too know how it is when you can’t afford to spend thousands of dollars on clothing.  You know how it is bills, mortgage, and groceries.  You make your own comparisons and you will see the savings. 

I think that because there is a demand for plus size clothing in Australia the retail stores think that they can charge what they like because we need clothing and therefore we will pay what ever it takes.  Or so you would think.    After hours of research and searching for online stores I found that there is a much better way to dress well and not kill the old pocket in the process.

I have found that the UK pound is quite expensive for us Aussies.  As at today 28/2/08 the conversion rate for £50.00 to AUD is $105.33.  There is a big difference in the pricing there.  For $50.00 USD converted to AUD is $53.0920.  Use this as an example and use the rate converter from XE to check how much this will cost you. 

Photo credit: esther17 

I am sure you have come across many fad diets in your time. I my self have tried everything under the sun. Some worked, some didn’t and some just worked for awhile then stopped working.

I have tried so many and yet I am bigger then ever. I think that everyone has their own health issues and therefore these diets are just not suitable for everyone. You may have a Thyroid problem which makes you put on weight, so really anything you try won’t really work. It is the Thyroid you need to treat and so diets won’t help.

In my case it is the polycystic ovarian disease which causes my weight gain. Dieting has proven to be very hard for me, food is my enemy and time is not kind to me as I find it hard to find time to exercise. Take a look at the link above and you will see what I am talking about with all the fads.

Let me know if you find any new fad diets.

• 1. I am witty
• 2. I know how to laugh
• 3. I have a big heart
• 4. I am open minded
• 5. I am fun to be with
• 6. I am interesting
• 7. I have pretty eyes
• 8. I have style
• 9. I have an imagination
• 10. Not afraid to try new things

Ten things I love about me is something that I thought you would benefit from.  Try it yourself write down 10 things you love about yourself.  If you can do this then you are doing ok.  Sometimes we forget what is great about us because of the black cloud hanging over our heads all the time.  It is in the media, at work, in life.  All we tend to think is I am overweight, and nothing else matters after that.  When ever I feel down and feel like I am falling into that trap I write a few things that I like about myself.  It helps me to be positive and how ever hard it is to get away from, you have to try because no one out there that is negative about you will give you a break. 

Only you can do this, and if you do it often enough it actually starts working.  You start to smile in the morning again and when you think you can’t do something you think back on the things that you are good at and then start to realise that you can do what ever you want.

Someone very dear to me always says positive things to me, like every email sent starts with and I quote “Hello cute one” or “Hi beautiful woman” and for those brief moments I do feel good about myself.  She has always encouraged me to write and do something with my writing.  I finally am doing that.  It was her encouragement that led to my doing this website.  If you are lucky enough like me to have someone special that will be a positive force in your life, then you are truly blessed.So try to find that one person to be your compass, to find you’re way to loving yourself and to give you the inspiration to be creative and smile and be happy.  And please do try the 10 things I love about myself, keep a diary and refer to it when you are feeling down and out.

Are you an emotional eater?

Do you snack frequently during the day?

Do you eat when you get angry about something or are upset?

If you do any of the above things, ask yourself is there something else that is behind this, like some kind of trauma?

If you suffered some kind of trauma do you think that it has scarred you and therefore you eat to comfort yourself?

Do you feel there is no way out for you?

Do you feel depressed?

Do you dread getting up in the morning?

If you feel any of the above things or experienced anything bad in your life, do you think that maybe it is time that you tried to get over this to be happy again?

Please read my suggestions and tell me if you think that this could help you.

The reason I have asked you all of these questions is because I think if we can all talk about what we are feeling and admit that there is a problem and start to address what is bothering us.

This may not relate to everyone out there but I am sure lot of you including myself have felt this way or have done these things in the past, the present and will do in the future. You know how everyone always tells you to think positive and good things will happy, well they might be on to something here.  I started thinking positive and have achieved allot.  I created this website and am in the process of writing my novel.

A year ago I would not have dreamed that I would start this site or even write a book, but I have.  One wise woman told me to believe in myself and I did - just like that.  In the process I focused on all the positive things in my life like my Husband Rob, my gorgeous dog Pebbles, my new site and my book.  The only reason I feel positive now is because I took a chance and did these things that have occupied my time.  The world is your oyster, so let us all get active and do something useful with our time and have some fun.

I guess what I am trying to pint out is that there must be something you want to sink your teeth into and really give a go, or just do it because you love to do it.  Write a list of things you might like to give a try.

My activity is writing and fashion, yours could be cooking, pottery or sport.  You just need something to focus on other then your weight and how others make you feel.  Just something that is done for you.

I know this will change your life because it has mine.  I think more clearly, I have a purpose and have only really now started to appreciate who I am.  The questions above are not meant to upset, but rather let you bring out your feelings and allow you to face them.  Drop me your story and or comments to Katly@big-girls-dont-cry.com.

As Scarlet said in Gone with the wind “after all, tomorrow is another day”.

Photo credit: Golden Emporium 

Remember the days when all you could buy in plus sizes ended up making you look like a granny?  Well those days are gone, I have been following and researching the different online stores for the fuller figured women.

I’ve come across some wonderful sites that really have listened to us plus size buyers.  I used to go into a shop and get a size 26 off the rack; I would put the item on and find that the top was too tight around my hips, and way too big around my chest.  It was almost impossible to buy anything that fit properly.

I found some great stores that ask you to measure yourself chest, waist, hips and length of your leg.  This has made things easier for us consumers because we know what we are getting in the form of measurements.  Also making things easier is the designers of the plus size fashion.  They have taken real plus size women with all different shapes and sizes and have managed to make tops that fit right at the top and fit right at the hip area.

This is fantastic as far as I am concerned because the plus size fashion of today has really sparked that twinkle in our eyes again.  We can now be bold, fashionable, classy, and sexy and not look like a grandmother in her Sunday best clothing.

Take a look at some of my links to stores and you will see what I mean.  Lovely blouses, skirts, dresses, work wear, bathing suits and accessories like belts, yes I said belts.  They have actually made a belt to fit the plus size woman and she will look great with it on.

Oh, and ladies, take a look at the lingerie, they have some gorgeous things and very sexy too.  I must admit that I was surprised at what I found so don’t be afraid to buy online, I have done it and was very happy with my purchases.  You can’t go wrong because if your measurements are correct and you guide yourself that way you will be fine.  In the event something doesn’t fit right or you miscalculated then I would say almost all stores will accept the items back for exchange, some offer store credit.

Photo Credit: Steve Crane

Discrimination against overweight and obese workers has been going on for the longest time. I personally have been discriminated against, made to feel unworthy of my position. The way others look at you and sometimes you can see their dislike. You would see the disapproving eyes around the office, as the ABC points out: There is little sympathy for overweight workers.

They just don’t get it. We can do what they do and most of the time better. It isn’t fair and all the times you would get overlooked at promotion time or the new girl would be given your promotion simply because she was more attractive and thin.

Here is an article I found on Personnel.com that you may find interesting: Government comes under pressure to make discrimination against obese people illegal

In 2006 I was planning my wedding.  I can not even begin to tell you what hell I went through trying to find undergarments for my wedding dress.  I bought this strapless bra thinking it would be great, well it curled up at the back (and I know you girls out there can relate) and was impossible for me to wear.  The other thing is that I needed to find a girdle much like a bike pant; this is because my legs rub together and I didn’t want to have this horrible rash on the sides of my thighs – especially on my wedding night.  I mean come on, was this nightmare ever going to end?

Then one day I found this great lingerie store and it wasn’t far from my sister’s place.  So I rang her to tell her that she should come with me.  I met her at her place and we had the usual coffee and a chat before we left.  We finally got there and I was practically in tears thinking I am not going to find anything in this store.  The sales lady was terrific and she really listened to what I was saying about the bike pant girdle.  She brought out a couple and told me to go and try them on.

I went thinking this is going to be fun.  You wouldn’t believe this material, double elastic and I can tell you that this was going to suck every bit of fat inside them and then hold on to that fat for dear life.  So anyway I started to take off my pants and tried to get into this thing.  My God I was sweating as I tried to pull them over my thighs and trying very hard to get them over my hips.  I called out to my sister to come and help me, she came, but my sister is a little frail so she couldn’t pull these things up.

My sister in frustration called the sales assistant and she came over to see if I needed help.  WELL YAHA, hello I did need help.  I told her that I can’t get the girdle over my hips and so she came in the dressing room and told me to pull from my front and she would pull from the back.  It was the funniest sight you would have ever seen, but here we were struggling like two maniacs pulling with all our might.  Finally we got the damn things on and I thought to myself thank God.  Hmmm look how this sucked all the fat in like a vacuum, I was pretty pleased with myself — until about five minutes later I started to feel a little light headed and thought I was going to faint.

I called for my sister and told her that I couldn’t breath, you guessed it, it was because of the tight girdle I was wearing.  It was so tight that I just couldn’t breath.  I started to weaken and my sister said “Get those damn things off will ya?”  I did it with great difficulty too.  It was hilarious the way my fat just jumped out like icing on a cake as it spills over the sides.  That was me all right spilling over the sides of my girdle.

The sales lady was giggling and we were all giggling until I realised that I couldn’t wear these things.  I would faint in the middle of the ceremony and that would be a disaster.  So the sales lady told me that they have a lady that makes these to measure and that all that was really wrong with them is that they had the reinforcing with double material.  She would simply have these made with only one layer of elastic.

And boy was I relieved because I could actually breath in my dress now.

Photography: Super-Structure 

If you are like me, and trying to get pregnant then I am sure you have come across some obstacles.

1. I am overweight
2. I have Polycystic Ovarian disease

What this means for me is that either from stress or overeating and putting on weight my periods stop.  The last stint I had lasted 9 months, now I know what you are thinking – that I was pregnant.  Well no, I wasn’t.  I went through a traumatic experience and from stress I overate, put on at least 10 kg in a year and all of a sudden my periods stopped.  This meant that I did not ovulate and therefore no matter what I did I couldn’t get pregnant.

Luckily I went for a trip with my husband for Christmas break and from the relaxing and walking and fresh air, I ended up getting my period.  Thank God is what I said.  This is as recent as this month.  So now I await my next period and hope that it doesn’t last for another 9 months.

The difference now I guess is that I am involved with my website, Big Girls Don’t Cry and it has given me purpose again and this in turn has taken my mind off my troubles.  I would recommend getting a hobby, or join a club of some sort to get your mind off getting pregnant.  It has helped me to de stress.

The one thing that I have failed at is losing weight, I am sure you can all relate to this.  I had an extensive blood test arranged by my Gynaecologist.  What she found is that my hormones just stopped before the ovulation process.  She also found that I was very low in Vitamin D.  This means things like tuna, salmon, the sun, and milk, such as Physical with Vitamin D in it, I had to start eating again.  Well the sun what can I say, I cover up because I don’t wear a swimsuit out in public.

I really needed to strip down and get some sun, which I did on my holiday.   The lack of Vitamin D caused me to be extremely tired and also the concern was that Calcium wasn’t being absorbed into my bones as a result.  This is why I found it very hard to get up in the morning and to do any exercise.  The concern is Osteoporosis as an end result of my not fixing this.

There are so many complications to your health that it is mind-boggling.  The result of the Ostelin is that my energy levels are increasing and hopefully I will be able to start some sort of light exercise such as walking, or riding a bike and lose that little bit of weight to be able to fall pregnant.  I will keep you posted on my progress.

If you are having troubles falling pregnant for whatever reason here are a few links that may be of interest to you.

Ruth and Dennis Sharkey - Australia’s acclaimed babymaker

Plus Size Pregnancy and Childbirth - From the About Directory

Plus Size and Pregnant - From the Babycenter

Pregnancy and Overweight/Overweight Moms Forum at iVillage

Overweight and Pregnant - from eZine Articles

Here is an interesting article I found written in Britain on Times Online.  Larger Size clothing should come with warning to lose weight, say experts  - some very good points and some ridiculous points.  I think people in general don’t realize the epidemic of obesity, and what it means to be so.

On the health front here is something interesting for you to read on the consequences of being overweight supplied by the Department of Health and Human Services USA.

Please refer to this link for articles in PDF format from the CDC.   Harvard School of Public Health has some very useful information on the Health Pyramid and has also interesting information on Nutrition, it also has a pyramid.

These are only guidelines and you should always speak to your Health Professional for any advice, as you know we are all different and what may work for some, may not for others.